Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
