and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize