im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
