quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
