whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
