it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
