i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
