what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
