i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
