i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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