Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
