I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
