just survived the first fart of the relationship.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
