you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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