Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
