Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
