$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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