Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the condom got lost in my hair
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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