oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
