Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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