Can Purell be used as lube?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
