Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
