That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
home. puking in laundry basket.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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