i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
