i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm both gender and math confused
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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