my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
