yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
