I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
