So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
