I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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