well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
