Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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