Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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