You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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