Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
