I must be too annoying 4 u.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
