This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize