Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
