There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
