I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Randomize