I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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