I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
