My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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