my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
