My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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