I think I died a long time ago.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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