Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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