I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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