Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
