is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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