My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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