you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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