I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
