so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
