my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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