I've blown a few things in my day
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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