I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
what day is it and did you see me today?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
is it fun? or sober?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
