I'm really into asian looking animals
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
