i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
