so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
