I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
