Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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