The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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