dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize