I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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