exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize