youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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