How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
