that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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